The first step to changing a child’s selfish behavior is by realizing that this behavior is a big problem and not a temporary phase. To mend your child’s selfish behavior, here is what you can do.
Get to the Root
Start by getting to the crux of the problem, i.e. finding out the reason for your child’s selfishness. Is it something new? Is he fighting with his siblings? Are your rules too weak? Is there some problem at school? Before worrying about the consequences, first, make a list and see what has changed around your child recently, which might be contributing to his selfish behaviour.
- Do Not Tolerate
To correct your child’s behaviour, tell him that such behaviour will not be tolerated. You have to be consistent and firm as this might be hard if the child is used to his every whim being fulfilled. Set rules that selfishness can never be displayed at home. Show your disapproval if your kid acts selfishly. Make sure you tell him why selfishness is wrong and make him aware of its consequences.
- Teach Empathy
Children who can put themselves in other’s shoes and feel someone’s pain are more likely to be generous and unselfish. So teach your child empathy by pointing out other people’s emotions. Point out mannerisms and facial expressions of people around him to help him understand the difference between happy and sad. You can also role-play to help your child imagine how he would feel in a specific situation. Ask him, ‘how would he feel in a similar situation?’ This will build empathy in him.
- Point Out Selflessness
The best way to cure selfishness is by pointing out the opposite. There will be times when your child would do selfless deeds as well; when you notice his unselfish or generous acts, praise him. Make sure to describe his act to him and point out why it was right and why it made the other person happy. If you do so, your child will be likely to repeat the deed more often.
- Set Limitations
Kids become selfish if they are used to getting what they want. This is why you need to set proper limits for your child and stick to them. Avoid giving in if he cries or throws tantrums. Stand strong and make sure that he understands that he will not get what he wants whenever he wants it, especially with such behaviour. Tell others in your family too, to follow your example and not indulge in any way.
- Be a Role Model
Kids follow by example and who better to lead them than you, the parent? Show your kid how to be unselfish by doing generous acts in front of him. Remember to draw his attention to the good deeds you do so that he can know how to behave in the same way in the future. Kids mimic their parents, so be a good role model for him, he will become selfless just like you.
- Reward Your Child
You can also reward your child whenever he performs any unselfish deed. Praise him for it and tell him why his act was so considerate. This will act as positive reinforcement and encourage him to repeat such deeds going ahead.